


Indelible

by deathismyspiritanimal



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Connor is mentioned - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Light Angst, Minor Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human), North (Detroit: Become Human)-centric, North wants to become best wingwoman, North's past is hinted at, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly OOC, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Rating May Change, Simon and North are best friends, and so are Markus and Josh, and so is Simon's, but again he's only mentioned, but maybe she should work out some stuff first, like it's mentioned, neither of them want to talk about it though, no beta we die like men, north is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathismyspiritanimal/pseuds/deathismyspiritanimal
Summary: Indeliblein·del·i·ble  (ĭn-dĕl′ə-bəl)adj.1. Impossible to remove, erase, or wash away; permanent2. Making a mark not easily erased or washed away3. Unable to be forgotten; memorableNorth had started to understand that, if she wanted to mess with the feelings of others, she should understand her own first. But how is she supposed to do that, if all of her feelings are already tied to another individual?If Markus had told her, that all of this would eventually lead to an existential crisis, then who knows, maybe she would have left Jericho the day he arrived.None of them knew, so obviously no one could tell her, how this would end. So she stayed with the first people that had accepted her, in her home. Jericho.And maybe not everything is as bad as it seems.
Relationships: Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human), North & Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Kudos: 1





	Indelible

North always had the feeling that Simon wasn't _exactly_ straight, judging mostly by the way the blond looked at guys like he never looked at girls.  
Being a Traci model, North had been well aware of different sexualities and preferences, and while she was never _equipped_ with the knowledge required for female customers and thus was never rented by those, she noticed how other Traci models were only rented by the gender they were supposed to portray, and others being rented by just everyone.

What she wasn't as familiar with, was the way Simon looked at people. His gaze was soft — not even close to what those humans' faces had looked like — and full of emotions. It rarely held love, but often enough attraction.

And if she had looked properly, she would've noticed that his eyes did hold such an emotion for one person. North could've realized pretty quickly, if she had wanted to, but she didn't. She hadn't seen the love in every gaze, every move, every word that Simon had said around Markus.  
No, instead, she started to build a relationship with him. And though it didn't feel exactly right to her, she felt loved and appreciated. So she didn't mind, because to North, that was how a relationship had to be.  
And her feelings?  
Maybe she had projected onto Markus — that's what she believes now, though she wouldn't admit to that loudly. And while she thought she loved the man, whatever she felt was nothing compared to what she feels when someone so much as _mentions_ her girlfriend nowadays.

After the Revolution was started, the events of Hart Plaza talked about and android rights were finally taken into consideration, only then did North start to notice.

But she didn't mention anything.

After all, emotions weren't exactly her strong suit.  
Instead, she finally thought about her feelings. What did she _actually_ feel for Markus if it seemed so off to her?  
She came to the conclusion, that it wasn't love. Not romantic love at least. She felt adoration, respect, loyalty, friendship. He was a huge source of comfort to her. He was a compassionate person and sometimes held her back when she got too _passionate_ about certain things. She appreciated that. She appreciated him. But there were no romantic feelings involved. Nor was there any kind of sexual attraction towards him. Only pure, friendly, platonic love.

Now that she had noticed that, she thought, maybe the time was good to talk to her friend. And so she did.

In retrospect, 'We need to talk' possibly wasn't the best approach, not when they were all exhausted from just coming back to Detroit from talking to the officials in Washington DC. But she wasn't here to spare any feelings.

She was trying to set her friend up with her boyfriend.

And to anyone else, this would've sounded ridiculous. It sounded ridiculous to her. But the more she considered, the more she realized that it wouldn't hurt to try.  
Markus had once mentioned to her that he was bisexual after all, which she had acknowledged then, but never really thought about, he could identify as whatever made him comfortable. But now, she thought, maybe he had wanted to hint at his attraction but not hurt her with being brutally honest. The way he had looked, sometimes basically stared at the blond, she was sure there was _something_ he kept to himself.

And now she had this bundle of walking anxiety that this particular PL600 was in front of her to deal with. Why would she just go into this so spontaneously?  
Still, she decided to go for it.

The two friends went to Simon's room inside the headquarters — none of them actually had homes yet, these were still not permitted for androids yet — and sat onto his bed. It wasn't necessary for him to have one, but it was a huge source of comfort to the blond, and North wasn't going to complain, she knew that he was already uncomfortable, so it was very welcome to her.

She considered her options. She could either ask him about his feelings and orientation or start of her own, personal stuff.  
North figured the letter would be more helpful in making her friend more at ease.

So, she started with straight facts.  
That she thought that she didn't love Markus.  
That maybe, she didn't even know what love felt like, which led to her mistaking her purely platonic feelings for romantic ones, those, reserved for a partner.

Only when she started talking, did she realize just _how_ insecure she was about all of this. She had been talking rather quietly, stumbling over her words and barely even looked at him — those were things she was used to from the taller man next to her.  
When she had finally gathered herself and looked up, rA9, the look on his face was precious and once again she was glad about her ability to recall and look at it again an again.

Simon wasn't good at hiding his feelings. At least not in front of people he trusted, North especially. He had gotten better at concealing what he felt, but the strawberry-blonde had known him too well.

Since the PL600 primarily came to her to talk about his feelings — which was odd to her for a long time — she started to pay more to his mannerisms, his facial expressions and gestures.

It wasn't a rare occasion that she asked Markus if he had noticed that something was off with their friend, or that she made Josh got talk to the blond because she thought he didn't feel well. North was sure that they definitely questioned her, but she never felt the need to justify herself, especially because her gut was usually right about those things.

Simon had once explained to her why he preferred talking to her about his feelings over the guys, who were far more empathetic and compassionate than her. And for a thing that had riddled her for so long, it was fairly simple.  
He needed someone to just sit there and listen. Josh and Markus weren't people that did that. They were both out for nice and simple solutions, for peaceful talks. They tried to help him with facing his problems. Which, while it seemed nice and easy enough, wasn't what he had needed. It wasn't the right solution for him. And way too difficult.  
North, on the other hand, had no similar qualities. She liked to listen more than she liked to talk — Simon had noticed that as soon as she entered the freighter. To him, that had made her intimidating and sympathetic at once. North never looked for a solution that involved big feelings or would've taken an eternity to actually help. She looked for instant gratification, which she found in violence, a string of insults or just anything that would bother Josh immensely if he heard it.  
He preferred North's way, because Simon just needed a distraction. And that was what she delivered. She listened, made a remark to make him laugh, hugged him and then started to ramble about whatever she thought about.

All of that made North confident enough to be able to see what he was feeling. Confusion, uncertainty, anxiety — the latter an emotion she was used to seeing from him — but what made his expression so precious was what he tried to hide. Hopefulness and excitement.  
Her first reaction was asking if he was okay and when the first response to that was negative, the woman grew anxious. But then he shook his head, apologized and then began to stutter — she could tell he was nervous — before stopping and taking a deep breath both knew he didn't actually need. 

North was used to these antics, it was normal for Simon to basically reboot his system, to just take a moment and gather himself. After that moment, he had achieved what he needed and looked back at her and, with a barely-there smile on his lips, he assured her that he was, in fact, okay. At that, North had visibly relaxed, even letting out a breath that she knew she hadn't taken.

For a moment they had just sat there, silent. It wasn't awkward, it was just there. A way for them both to collect themselves. And then the blond looked up, asking what exactly North wanted him to do. She didn't talk about her feelings a lot and if she did, she usually barged in and immediately told him whether she needed a person to vent to and ground her, or someone to give her advice and make her feel rational.  
But this time, there was nothing like that. Just straight to the point, facing the problem head on, just like you would expect from the very impulsive and direct android. 

For a moment, she stalled.

She never actually thought about her feelings in the situation. She thought about how Simon was definitely in love with her boyfriend. And that said boyfriend seemed to like the blond as well. And she was sure that she didn't love her boyfriend like she thought she did. But what else did she feel?

But that wasn't what Simon had asked, was it? He had asked what she wanted.  
What _did_ she want?

Advice.  
Advice was good, so she settled on that.  
Feelings. Simon could work with those, and getting another mind's outlook on her situation might be good as well. Someone who actually considered how others felt, and more importantly, who cared about those feelings.  
So she answered with that. She wanted advice.

Judging by his face, Simon hadn't expected that. To be fair though, he didn't seem to know what he was expecting. It was rare that North wanted advice, usually she didn't want anyone telling her what to do, she hated that, so Simon never did that. But her asking for it? That was new for both of them.  
He needed to think for a moment. A long moment. Long enough to make North unsure once again.  
But then he sighed and looked at her with that gentle smile of his, lifting her spirits almost immediately.

He started slow and steady, reassuring her, telling her that it was okay.  
The blond promised, that things like these happened and that it's fine to not know how to feel.  
Then he started explaining how she had to tell Markus about her feelings, how she felt exactly, and answer any questions he might have.  
The blond also made it a point to let her know, that he was sure Markus would understand. And while North had known all of these things before, it still scared her immensely. But it helped to hear it from someone else.  
In that moment she also realized that she couldn't make Simon confess his feelings for Markus now, or in general. It just felt wrong to her.

So at this point in time, she needed to explain her feelings all over again and needed to take Markus' feelings in consideration.  
She couldn't just start planning there — the leader of their revolution is most likely not going to be in a great mood after she had broken up. The whole situation needed a lot of time and thought.

No impulsiveness, no instant gratification. 

This certainly wasn't North's way of things. And definitely not the way she expected things to go. She wasn't made for these things.

Literally. 

Since the strawberry-blonde had deviated, she had made it her primary goal to take revenge on those who had hurt her. And now, this goal has been set aside,almost forgotten. There was not going to be any kind of revenge for North. Instead, she had been demanding, and seemingly gaining, equality, if they were actually able to convince the humans.  
Even though North knew exactly how superior they were compared to the ones that had created them.  
And in this exact moment, she wasn't even doing _that_. 

No, instead she had to figure out how to break up with her boyfriend and set him up with their friend. 

This really wasn't what she considered the revolution to go, but that's just how unpredictable life had gotten.

Maybe, just maybe, she should contact Connor, just to get another opinion, one, that she was pretty sure wasn't going to be biased. She also could tell the Detective about her plan, which she was desperate to share.  
North couldn't possibly have told Josh about all of this. If she did, he would have just told her how ridiculous it was and how it wasn't her right to risk anything by setting the boys up.

Josh was against whatever North said about ninety percent of the time, which, while it was often great to have at least two outlooks on every situation, was annoying and limiting most of the time.

So _what if_ she was about to screw up all of the relationships that were actually important to her?  
She did it consciously and with purpose.  
And it obviously kind of scared her doing this, but all feelings did, so whatever, right?  
Who was she to judge.

She definitely had to make Connor meet up with her. There was no denying in how necessary it seemed. And while the RK800 had been the last of those, that she considered a friend, to deviate, he was pretty good with emotions — at least for North's standards — because he was programmed to be and had actually been around and working with humans non-stop after the revolution, so he definitely had that going for him. 

Back in reality, the strawberry-blonde was actually still talking to Simon.

He had been quietly waiting for her to sort her thoughts. Just calmly, very obviously not in a rush and so damn considerate. 

North sometimes really hated that, but most of the time, now more than ever, it was exactly what she needed.  
Someone, who just let her think in peace for however long she needed to. 

It sucked. 

After North had finally, _finally_ stopped thinking so much, she looked at him and apologized for how rudely she started the conversation with her nerve-wracking, inconsiderate and direct opener.

There was another silence, he had only answered with a nod that was supposed to let her know that it was fine, before she continued, this time thanking the blond. 

Not just his advice in the situation but for everything he'd done for her, since she had realized how she never actually did that. 

She thanked him for being patient with her, for accepting how rude she was to him in the past, especially in her first week in Jericho, but basically every time he wanted to make her open up to him and talk about all those feelings that she didn't understand.

Because he did. Simon is one of, if not _the_ longest member of Jericho. He wasn't the first one, seemingly not even close to that, but apparently he was the last to still stand. So it made sense that he knew how to handle feelings as good as he did. 

But North has never actually heard any of these things from her friend. Every time she heard about Simon's past, it was from people talking about it.  
He never actually spoke about his past, at least not unprompted, which seemed kind of hypocritical to the strawberry-blonde, as he always wanted to her to talk to him about her own past.  
When Simon was asked about his past, he usually didn't answer, and when North tried it that one time, his answer was short and almost cryptic — which was North's brand of answering things — which led her to believe he didn't like to talk about that specific subject.  
She stopped pressing, as it didn't seem worth it to her.  
North thanked him for being able to help with everyone's feelings at least twice in her ramble. 

Another 'Thank You' went to the fact that he had always supported her, in one way or another.  
He had always _at least_ considered her choices and even if it didn't feel exactly right to him, he let her do what she claimed she had to, and North could always come back to him afterwards.  
The blond had also never tried to blame her for anything or ridiculed her ideas. 

North highly appreciated that about him. 

She also thanked him for the revolution, which had caused a questioning look to appear on the PL600's face.  
When he tried to correct her, trying to say how he didn't do a lot, she immediately shut him.  
Simon had done a lot for the revolution, probably more than her. 

He had been the one welcoming Markus — just like he welcomed everyone — and since then had only supported him. There was never a sign of distrust towards the newest member. And no matter what Markus did or said, whatever his decisions were, Simon was by his side to support him.  
Neither North nor Josh had actually done that to the blonds extend. Instead, they constantly argued.

She even admitted to the fact that she sometimes wondered how Markus could've fallen in love with her. It seemed ridiculous and unreasonable, seeing just how different their beliefs were. 

And she really didn't know. 

All of this really started to hurt her. Sure, she now knew that she had mistaken her feelings to be something more, but maybe Markus had felt just like her. 

As far as North knew, her boyfriend had a thing for the blond android next to her — and who could blame him for that — but that had hurt her a lot.

Suddenly she began to worry, how would Markus feel? She couldn't tell him all of this if he was going to feel like she did right now. 

She had wanted to thank Simon for more things, but these were lost in another string of thoughts and feelings. 

Feelings that she hadn't liked at all.

Simon had noticed that something was wrong when she just stopped talking mid-sentence, he couldn't remember his friend ever having done something like that. 

Only when he saw the artificial tears that threatened to spill, did he decide to touch her, just a light hand on her tense shoulder. 

A well known fact about North was her aversion against physical contact, she really only let Markus touch her, being a couple and all. 

Her and Simon had hugged a few times, almost every time he felt down, which wasn't a rare occasion, but North had always been the one to initiate the contact. 

But this, this seemed different to the blond. His best friend had lost herself in her emotions and needed to be grounded. And from his experience, this could be achieved by a simple, seemingly meaningless touch. 

What he didn't anticipate was, that she leaned into the touch, just a bit, before she turned around, facing him.  
She looked him in the eyes for a moment, less than a second, before she hugged him, hiding her already slightly damp face in the crook of his neck. 

There was a moment of silence, in which it seemed like the time stopped, and Simon didn't know what to do. Then he moved them both into a more comfortable hugging position, resting his hands on her back and slowly stroking over it, hoping it was comforting, while the strawberry-blonde seemed to have tried to suffocate herself with the help of his neck. 

In this very moment, she had cursed the fact that she didn't _actually_ need to breathe. 

She hadn't planned on breaking down. She hadn't planned the conversation to go like this. She hadn't planned any of this. But it was what her life had become. Unpredictable and incalculable. She hated it. 

When Simon started to try to reassure her, she started feeling worse for some reason. He had sounded unsure about the situation and yet so dedicated to making her feel better. All he did was repeating the same things over and over again, but he tried to use different words every time in an attempt to not sound as clueless as he was.  
But there were only so many ways of telling someone that everything was okay, that everything was going to be alright, that everyone was going to be fine, that it was normal to be hurting.

To the blond, North had seemed fine mere seconds ago.  
He didn't know what had triggered this wave of emotions, but he didn't seem to help her at all.

The woman in his arms — who was probably the person with the strongest will he knew — was breaking down. He could feel how her thirium pump began pumping faster and noticed how his neck was getting wetter with every second.  
But what had hurt him the most, what broke his — metaphorical — heart, were how vocal she was while crying. The sobs that left her trembled. They sounded broken and were rather loud. At that, he pulled her impossibly closer. If his words couldn't help her, maybe his actions did. 

They sat there for a while, just quietly hugging each other, until North had almost stopped crying.  
She squeezed him one last time before letting him go. A weak smile tugged at her lips as she wiped away the artificial tears and looked back at her friend.  
When she noticed his sad face, she stalled.  
Why did he looks so sad?  
North had wanted to punch herself. But then his face changed, an honest and genuine smile appearing in place of the sad frown, before he asked how she had felt. 

Better. 

She had noticed how what she just did, sitting and letting everything out, helped immensely. She felt way better. 

North let out a chuckle, lightly punched his arm and assured him of her increased mood and she also told him, that he was great at making people feel better. 

What Simon was not great at, was accepting compliments.  
In the same way as earlier, when his friend had thanked him for everything and nothing, a blue blush started creeping onto his face, and he began to start looking everywhere that wasn't her.  
North had rolled her eyes at that and looked around as well. 

In her opinion, everything that needed to be said right now, had been said. But it didn't feel right to just leave like that.  
It actually seemed pretty rude. 

Once again, the friends sat in silence. Though this time, it was shorter. An idea crashed into the strawberry-blonde's head — almost as fast and unexpected as when Markus literally crashed into the Jericho freighter.  
Simon once made an offhand statement about wanting to watch some movies, so it seemed to be a reasonable suggestion. And as soon as she had asked, a huge grin formed on the blonds face, who, in turn, suggested the Harry Potter series, which seemed to be a timeless classic and a great movie to start. 

The day might have been a roller coaster, but every roller coaster comes to an end, and watching a movie with her best friends seemed like a great end to North.

**Author's Note:**

> I post everything I post over on [my Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/asmolqueen) and if you wanna chill and talk, find me over on [my Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/a_smol_queen/)!


End file.
